We are the absolute worst ever 14-0 team that has ever existed. Not only in the National Football League and all of football, but since way before the Greeks oiled themselves up, shoved torches in their asses and ran naked around volcanoes until the torch burnt down far enough the runner quit. The last man standing in that contest so to speak was crowned the “campione”, which is loosely translated as “the idiot with the charbroiled ass that won, but still had a charbroiled ass nonetheless.”

This year I’ve watched this team overcome adversity all season long, no matter what form it came in. We’ve won defensive battles when the offense wasn’t clicking, we’ve won without time of possession, we’ve won shootouts and we’ve done it all while having a good number of players not healthy and ready to go. But still the talking heads in the media put the same old spin on it every week. The Colts got lucky, and got a gift. That gift has come in many forms; Belichick being Belichick, the refs actually doing their job, teams giving us the victory, opposing teams penalizing themselves with stupid penalties, and the new one is that we got a gift from Chad Simpson for running a kick back for a touchdown. Isn’t that his job as a kick returner? While I’m on the subject of the game Thursday night against the Sparkle Kitties, I’d like to share with you some of the intelligent comments our friends at ESPN were saying about the victory:

–>No disrespect to the Colts, but the Jags lost this game (no $#!+?)

–>They never should have let Reggie burn them (like they had an option?)

–>The Jaguars dominated the Colts all game. If it weren’t for the return Colts lose (someone didn’t watch the game did they?)

–>You see holes in this team every week (and every week we overcome them jackhole!)

–>The defense is the weak spot on this team (if being ranked 3^rd in the NFL is weak, I’ll take that)

–>The Colts didn’t match the intensity of the Jaguars (because we didn’t wear teal?)

–>Teams will show the film of the Jags game to their players as a blueprint on how to beat the Colts. (??? Didn’t Miami present the blueprint too?)

–>The Colts confidence has been punched in the mouth and they are hurting (from what, laughing so hard?)

–>If you look at this Colts team their record may be, but they are far from perfect (Howard Cosell must laughing from heaven at how sports journalism has changed)

Wow that is some in-depth reporting there.

The hate just doesn’t come from the Four Letter Network, I’ve seen it surfing the net. People on different blogs saying how much they hate Peyton Manning. Why, because he works hard, he’s successful and gives a lot of money to charities? Is it because he has more money than most European countries? I mean I dislike other teams, but I can honestly say I don’t hate specific players. Well, all except Tom Brady. He’s such a whiney little douche bag you just have to hate his swarmy little face unless you are a Patriots bandwagoner. But if things keep trending the way they are, there are going to be a lot of empty seats on the Tom Brady fan bus.

The sports “experts” go out of their way to look for excuses why the Colts won. Are they still mad at us for all the nice things they said about us in 2005? Were they snake bitten and are now forever afraid to say anything positive about the Colts? If you remember they all said our window was closing because of the age of our team. Uh we are the third youngest if you care to check the facts. These guys spew hatred for the Colts regardless of the facts. At least when Bob Kravitz gets his facts wrong it’s not on purpose to be spiteful, it’s just because he’s stupid. There are things I don’t like in life, but I don’t go making $#!+ up about it because I don’t like it.

If you think I’m off base here, let me prove my point. Think back to 2007 and the Patriots run at perfection. It was almost like Victory Day in Europe each time the Patriots stepped closer to that perfect season. They just barely beat us, the Giants, Baltimore and Philly. The rest of the schedule comprised of two games each against the Jets, Miami, and Buffalo. In 2007 they were all pathetic. But yet the resourceful Patriots found a way to win because they were a great team. Never once was it suggested that they got a gift. They were all well deserved victories, bull $#!+ people, bull $#!+. The one thing that does make me smile is that I can walk up to a Patriot fan and say 18-1, BWWWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Don’t think for a second that the media would love to see the Colts falter and the Saints run the table. I saw a video on Youtube of Skip Bayless performing an odd voodoo ritual chanting something about protecting the Saints and punishing the Colts all while slashing the throat of a chicken. Well, it wasn’t really a live chicken, it was a bucket of Popeye’s chicken. But it was pretty creepy watching him fondle the tasty fried fowl while Mark Schlereth swung a rubber chicken over his head wearing an inside out Peyton Manning jersey and dancing to the Macarena.

While reveling in the Patriots failure, that reminds me of the silver lining in the cloud that is the sports talking heads ramblings. The look on their faces after they guaranteed a loss is priceless. I swear to God it looked like Deion Sanders was going to cry Thursday night. The same for Mark Schlereth. This dude was an asshole when he was a player and he seems to have perfected the art as a sports commentator. Why do you think his title is “Sports Analyst”? It is not just a coincidence. In the pre-game all they talked about was how the Colts were going to lose. I’m sure during commercials Mark and Deion were consoling each other in each other’s arms after the Colts proved them wrong again.

So sayeth the Meanie.

Yell, scream, GO HORSE!!!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 at 3:18 pm and is filed under Blue Meanie Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.